Fall break means time to do things you don’t have time for during the school year, right? Well kiddo and I decided to drive to grandma’s house, across the southern part of Arizona. Lucky me, traveling with two of our three dogs and a tween, during the early hours on a Friday, towards the end of Fall break.
As we are rushing out the door to get on the road, since a 5 hour drive with a few stops is going to take FOREVER, I ask her to grab a book to read. The response was “I don’t have any!” Excuse me? Did I not just spend twenty bucks at the book fair on a couple books? Did I not buy you books over the summer I know you haven’t read? “Whatever, get in the car” I replied. No sooner we are an hour out I hear “I’m bored!” What the hell did you just say? I’m thinking. “What do you mean?” I actually ask. “My iPod is boring, the earbuds suck and my tablet is in the trunk.” I just bought those stinking earbuds and she loved them. The iPod is boring when you thumb through every god damn song I just spent a small fortune on and who’s fault is it that the tablet is in the friggen trunk. I replied with “Guess you should have brought a book to read”. Let the eyes roll so hard they may fall out of her head. So of course I just start talking uncontrollably over whatever pops in my head, because this is going to be a pleasant trip damn it!!
Our first stop, 2 hours out, we run in to the gas station to go the bathroom and she tries to con me into buying skittles. Hell no. It is too early for candy. (Bad mommy! whatever) We let the dogs out and my daughter is like a drill sergeant with her pup. “Candy Cane go the bathroom!” I reply to her “Dude, let her chill, she needs to walk around, stretch and then she will go.” Once the dog’s relieve themselves we head back to the car and get back on the road.
The remaining drive, we stopped just once more before making it to grandma’s house. That stopped cost me $8, for bad bag of almonds and chocolate that was going to melt, because it is Southern Arizona. Back to the car, as quick as we can possibly go, we take the dogs out to relieve themselves once again, try to make them drink water, walk around and all that jazz. Once we think they are done, we head back to the car. Of course the dog’s decide to bark and whine because people are all around us. My daughter yells “Shut up Candy Cane!” (Can you tell what month we adopted her?!) Candy cane aka CC, tries to make a dart towards someone, only to get snagged by her leash. Once I manage to get Elvis into his crate, CC comes to a halt, refusing to get into her crate. We try pushing her in gently, then coaxing with a treat. NOTHING is working, I then take her bedding out and realize she barfed all over it. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS!? Like, seriously right now?! It is hot and we have barf, in the crate, in my car and still have around an hour more to drive. UGH! My kiddo takes the “sick dog” into her arms, the dog literally tries to jump out of her arms and onto the flipping pavement. (Seriously CC!! YOU ARE KILLING ME TODAY). I tried to flip the barf ridden pillow carefully and cover it up with a blanket, we only have 1 hour till we are about there, she can handle it, right? NOPE! Again, the dog refuses to get in, using her paws to stop her from entering the damn crate so I close up the crate, praying barf doesn’t get on my car or that the other dog barfs. Hand my daughter a clean blanket and tell her she is going to hold the dog the rest of the way.
We carried on to grandma’s…
FINALLY! We made it! We are at Grandma’s and OMG it is HOT for October! My daughter start’s saying how much she loves it and how much she want’s to move back. The only thing I could think about is how much I want to be home, where it is cooler and the rain is coming. WAHHHH!!
On the bright note, I survived a 5 hour drive with my tween and two attention loving dogs. We had a beautiful time with her grandparents, uncle and cousin. We even ran into some friends and got to have lunch with them. We turned around on Sunday, drove back with a bit less chaos as before (thank god!) and I kept most of my sanity!
Note to self, simplify life, stay home and invite grandma here.