Parenting in 2017 is something I feel I am constantly failing at. I don’t keep up with trends when it comes to parenting. I do what is right for my girls and what is right for our family. Parenting pushes you to your limits, when everything was just wonderful a moment ago, you are dealing with some sort of shit show (sometimes literally) and just trying to keep your cool and everyone safe.
I would do anything for my girl’s (within reason). They are my world, my reason for getting up (rested or not) every morning and the reason we sacrifice so much, for the benefit of them. Someday’s one child is more difficult than the other and sometimes they are both perfectly perfect. I like to remember the good days, because life is about making good memories, right?
With that being said, let me get something off my chest. Parenting is FUCKING hard. You are damned if you do or damned if you don’t sometimes. This past month has been so rough on me personally. My youngest has been teething, so bad and she isn’t sleeping much, which means I’m sleeping even less(4 hours on average!). She has been cranky, due to the teething and lack of sleep. My oldest started middle school. This in it’s own is so awesome and exciting but at the same time, it makes me so sad. Wasn’t she just 6? Where has the time gone?
With middle school starting 10 days ago, she is trying to find new friends, fit in and figure out who she is. I get it. I will support her with what she wants to do, but with this she has frustrated me with how lazy she truly is. I know not every child is an athlete and I would never make her do a sport, if she didn’t show an interest. She decided she wanted to try out for Volleyball, prior to even attending this school. She also decided she wanted to try out for Cross Country, even after we explained what it is. On top of that she wanted to attend a program after school called Excel 2, which offers homework help, academics and once those are completed children can participate in a fun, rewarding activity.
As I signed these forms last week, for her to attend, I explained to her I think she is putting too much on her plate. She stated she still wanted Volleyball, but if she didn’t make that she would do Cross Country and then attend Excel 2 on the day’s she doesn’t have practice. (Okay great, she figured it out….good for her for overachieving.)
Well, like I predicted, she HATED Cross Country, because, get this….they RUN!? No shit?! Again, my child, not very athletic but hey she tried. Volleyball tryouts are here. “OMG, YAY, finally you get to try a sport you have been obsessed with for 4 years!” I say and she seemed excited, but not. (Maybe it’s her age, I don’t know) We remind her to look up different terms, head down to the park and see if you can jump in on a game to practice. Hell we will go practice with you, if you ask…
In the two weeks prior tryouts, she never did.
She even scored an extra day to prepare, when tryouts we’re postponed, but still no effort.
Well she could obviously care less all a sudden. I got a text yesterday “Mom I wore the wrong shoes.” Okay, wait, what? You have known about this before school started, how do you not have the right shoes with you?! No answer. “Mom I threw up.” OMG WHAT? Like what are you doing to throw up? Do I need to come get you?! Then she came home from tryouts to tell me it was the coaches fault, because they weren’t instructed to stretch first.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?
So this week, my daughter has stayed up past bedtime (not researching Volleyball bit playing or something). She has been late to the bus, which is literally across our street and she even missed it.
She has neglected to brush her teeth before school TWICE, because she “didn’t have enough time.” She has drenched the bathroom in water, because why the hell would you dry off on the rug next to the tub? She has then complained about any physical activity regarding sports, walking or the stairs and now it’s the coaches damn fault because she didn’t spend the 45 minutes before tryouts and become productive and stretch. She also found every reason not to go to tryouts today.
I cant even.
Today was the second day of tryouts. She decided it wasn’t for her, because apparently everyone already knows everything about the game. (I assure they her do not, they probably just watched some informational videos on the subject instead of some stupid cat video on YouTube!)
As a parent who doesn’t want their child to give up so quickly, I let her decide what she was going to do, but I informed her I wanted her to attend because I think it would be idea to go give her best and learn from that if she wasn’t able to make the team, because hey at least she tried. I then informed her I was disappointed she was willing to give up something she wanted so badly because it appeared hard, but ultimately she had to live with her decision.
She replied “Please don’t say it’s my loss, ok?”
My reply was “Okay, but you will be paying us back for all the items you HAD to have us buy you for the tryouts.”
I’m disappointed she didn’t stick it out and at least see if she would have made the team. I’m upset I’ve had to become even more strict on her this week, when it comes to her free time. (Apparently too much free time is a bad thing for her, she becomes lazy, rude and forgets to do the simplest tasks (like brushing her teeth!)). I’ve implemented new rules when it comes to screen time, too much of that is bad thing.
I don’t want to be that nagging mom, I don’t want to be at odds with her, I just want her to take the accountability and responsibility of her own actions. No child wants to hear their parents are disappointed in them. She ultimately decided Excel 2 was best for, (so why the hell did I drop $80 on sports equipment for you, for nothing?!?!). I’m all for academics and tutoring if needed followed by a cooking class, I just hope she sticks with this too.
Parenting is hard, but these hard days too shall pass. It’s not always going to be sunshine and rainbows. In order to get that rainbow, we need to have a few rough days. And maybe a taller wine glass.